Re-source
Each client I work with is responding to what’s currently happening so differently, a reminder that how we each perceive and experience events is as important as what’s actually happening. Every one is experiencing a tremor; be it personal, collective or global. In times of stress a cascade of processes take place in our inner world leading to fight, flight or freeze; showing up as overwhelm or dissociating from feelings. Many of us are feeling the squeeze with less of our regular activities to distract us.
What I hear from most of my clients is that uncertainty is the most difficult to be with. As much as we would like to know, to control, and to plan each part of our lives, we cannot. Life will always be in flux and therefore uncertain. Many are asking me what they can do to feel better. It is human nature to want to avoid painful feelings. Yet, while it may feel paradoxical, instead of ‘turning away’ from pain, difficulty and the fearful parts of us in avoidance, if we gently ‘turn towards’ what we’re experiencing the easier we can move through.
If we can bring awareness to and stay present with all the highs and lows of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations rather than seeking to avoid or change what may be painful the opportunity for healing occurs. Unless we are resourced this can be challenging, almost counter intuitive. If we only orient to challenging emotions they can easily overwhelm us. Slowing down, accessing sensations that are more spacious can help in these moments. Resources are aspects of us which support and nurture us, giving us the ability to adapt to and change with traumatic experience. They are strengths that each of us can draw upon in threatening or dangerous circumstances. As we build internal resources we can meet difficult thoughts, memories, images or feelings as they arise.
To rest in presence and witness our inner experience and outer experience in a non detached way can be our most fundamental resource. Creating space around our internal processes can be a true refuge. A sense of space generally relates to sensations and feeling tones that are spacious warm, soft, open and calm. This allows our inner witness to develop and we can begin to be curious about our inner world.
There are many, many ways to orient to presence. This is a simple, gentle practice that can orient us to spaciousness so we can be with what arises however difficult, and not be swept away:
Firstly bring awareness to the breath, follow the breath into the body and notice any arising sensations that you may encounter. Once a relationship to the body space and its sensations are established, float the question; What resources me in my life? Starting with external; what things, places, activities resource me? See what arises.
Notice the quality of sensations that arise in the body. Where in the body do you sense these? What is the feeling tone of this resource? Are they familiar? Do you sense anything that tells you that you are ok? Spend some time resting in these sensations. Get familiar with them.
You may notice the external and internal resources are not really separate. We can learn to trust the body mind and its resources. You are accessing sensations that are, at some level, always there and readily available. It is simply a matter of sensing, allowing and accessing them. From here we can be with what feels more difficult, especially now.
All situations, thoughts, sensations and emotions pass, they are not forever. Through awareness we are reminded that the only constant is change, and that needn’t be a negative thing. In the moment when we feel most overwhelmed, giving ourselves space and consequently love reminds us that this too will pass.